There appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel because there is no end to the damn tunnel itself. I am having symptoms of lymphedema and will be seeing the physical therapist on Wednesday. This is devastating to me. I can’t seem to catch a break.
I’ve postponed posting about this because when things are at their worst it’s sometimes hard for me to blog or even to socialize in person. In a strange way I feel like I’m letting people down by being so negative, so defeatist. But perhaps that’s not being fair to both myself and those who care about me, which is why I’m throwing this out there.
So, there you have it – I am neither strong nor positive at the moment. I feel panicked and scared and depressed beyond belief. I don’t want anything else to deal with, I feel like lymphedema is just too much for me on top of all I have endured.
I try to remind myself that there are those in the breast cancer community that have fared far worse than I, women that would envy my situation in general. I’ve read heartbreaking blogs during my journey written by women that, like me, were hopeful they would do their time in treatment and then move on…women who sadly aren’t here anymore. I’m still here. My kids still have their mother. I still have a chance to live. That is what I try to hold on to and most of the time I can. But right now I am having a really hard time.
Thanks for reading…till next time.