Saturday, June 20, 2009

Ten things five plastic surgeons said to me:

1. You have too much breast skin; the “extra” needs to be removed.

2. You don’t have the type of body for implants.

3. Your breast envelope is too flat (ok, is that taken care of by the post office, or UPS?)

4. There are weeds in your garden, if they have popped up in one breast they will pop up everywhere else.

5. You should have a bilateral mastectomy to achieve the best symmetry.

6. Fake nipples are more convenient than real ones because they don’t project as much.

7. Implants are your only choice (um, see number two above).

8. Referring to my other breast, “Why would you want to match that one?”

9. You’ll never win any wet t-shirt contests.

10 -- Yes, I will make you a breast that matches, as closely as possible, your original one, and I understand why you want that.

BINGO! Yes, that last one is the winner :)


Shallow Coffee said...

Did one of them really say, "You'll never win any wet t-shirt contests"? Hello arse hole! Unprofessional to say the least. I shall hunt him/her (but sadly guessing it was a him) and kick 'em vigorously in the delicate bits. Over and over again.

In fact, I think I will do that to every one of them who didn't listen to you and understand that it is your body.

~Tessa~Scoffs said...

Yay for #10.

Jean said...

Unbelievable! Some doctors really should take (more) lessons in how to relate to their patients. How on earth can they justify saying numbers 8, 9 and 10?

Jane said...

That list shows me you have still retained your sense of humour but you are sooo tired of wading through the crap some doctors sprout (a bit like weeds eh?).
Yes one out of 10 ain't bad!

Jean said...

OK, so I was tired when I left the last comment....

Number 10 is great, was it a woman by any chance?

Kayleigh said...

Thanks everybody -- and yes, notSupermum, the last one was a woman, the only woman PS I happened to see and the one who will be "doing" me, as they say....gee, however did you guess that, lol? She was highly recommended and works out of a major hospital, so she's got the cred's too.

(Oh, and Kristen, you totally cracked me up, lol!)

Thanks again everyone :)

Kayleigh said...

Thanks Jane, I swear, I don't know how you could hear all the junk coming out of these "doctors" mouths and NOT laugh despite yourself!

Tessa -- yes, three cheers for number 10!!!

She's got a pretty good sense of humor herself, which is nice, but at the same time she really took me seriously so I felt alot of trust -- not easy for me to achieve w/most docs.

Sheila said...

That is absolutely boggling: real doctors said those things to you?? I'm just speechless!

Thank goodness for ONE person who understood that you want to be YOU.

Kari said...

Good grief, are you kidding me? That's appalling.

Maybe the average plastic surgeon doesn't understand that you are asking for "reconstruction", something that actually matches your body and remaining breast as it is/was, instead of striving for something totally plastic and fake.

Kayleigh said...

Thanks Kari, thanks Sheila!

It's true, and what's worse is that these were the cream of the crop...the best PS's around, many of them from top hospitals in NYC. I shudder to think what the "lower echelon" ones would have said or tried to convince me to do. In looking at pix on the net I've seen some baaaaad recons. It's really scary out there.

I'm lucky I found the doc I did.

Kayleigh said...

PS: I'm also hugely blessed to have the resources I do, both locality and many women don't, and that is downright criminal.

Mervat said...

PHENOMENAL! The arrogance of those so-called professionals! Not only do they lack a bedside manner, they lack all manner of anything human.

Thank goodness for owner of comment #10! Is she the one you have been positive about from the beginning or someone new?

Kayleigh said...

Hi Mervat! No. 10 was the 3rd PS I saw...but I'd already made 2 more appointments so went ahead and kept them, even tho I was pretty sure she was "the one". I'm actually glad I did, too, because it seved as even deeper confirmation of my choice.