Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Finally -- a photo!
While I'm still coming to terms with what's about to happen and all the ramifications, life goes on...so, it's about time for a picture, don't you think?
Granted, this is not the most auspicious shot to restart with, it's a bit in the shadows and I look strangely green, lol. But Michael and I are out of practice since the last one and the light has changed now that summer is approaching.
After my diagnosis at first it was simply hard to have even a remotely pleasant expression on my face, so posting pix seemed, well, odd. Then after a while I was deeply absorbed in research and only dressed to go to the doctors -- which didn't induce a feeling of wanting to take a snap shot either.
But always in the back of my mind I knew that returning to at least a picture here and there was somehow important. I can't quite define why...perhaps it could give me a feeling of normalcy? Maybe it would add a visual record to the written one of my journey...and in years to come my kids would see how their mom went thru this awful thing but came out on the other side. That could be a life lesson for them to hold on to, surely.
And further, in my own more broad-reaching motherly/sisterly way, I'm hoping that any other woman who has to experience this could take some comfort in seeing that no matter what I end up looking like for a while, there will be eventually a return to the simple act of choosing clothes and trying to project my own best image as an empowering & creative expression of personal style.
So I've decided not just to document this journey with my words, but to try and illustrate it now too by including pre and post op pix, even photos of me going thru chemo (if necessary), the whole kit and caboodle. Mind you, I won't post a pic every day...but my goal is to put up a few with some semblance of regularity.
Most importantly, for those that need or want it, when it's all over & done with, I will even provide before, during & after photos of my breasts. I know that looking at reconstruction photos has been very important in my own process so if I can add to that for another woman I am glad to do it. Oh, and for my regular readers, now my dear beloved friends, if ya just wanna see what they look like I'll be happy to show you too ;) I know I'd be curious. (there'll be a password or email type deal so I'm not plastering my boobs up indiscriminately, fyi!)
Obviously this blog has morphed a little, changed a bit -- and certainly so have/will I. But the core principle remains fundamentally the same. This is my journey...thanks to all who join me for a any stretch of the road. It's a comfort to have such great company.