Yesterday was tough, today perhaps is even tougher.
I am waiting to speak to the two different doctors from the two different hospitals -- each conversation has the potential to change the course of my life. I am also anticipating either or both of these men possibly getting annoyed at me. Not that I personally care at this point, but frankly I don't want to base my choice in any way on which doctor will put up with answering questions....I'd rather base it on skill, on expertise. Yet if one of the docs is short on patience the last thing I want to think about is them wielding a knife over my breast and me waking up with any surprises (or at least any surprises I don't already know might happen).
Yesteday we saw three different doctors from two hospitals. Two of the docs were from Big Hospital, the breast & plastic surgeons respectively. Plastic surgeon is the one I've liked from the beginning (the only woman in the whole batch)...Breast surgeon is the new one and this was 2nd visit. These are the doctors that want to change incisions...going across the surface to one side and perhaps even under the areola a bit. I'm not happy and their explanations sort of made sense but really, what do I know...how much research can one woman do?
Not to mention the doctors at Little Hospital seem to have no problem going underneath the breast, in fact, it was their own idea, not mine.
If I go with Big Hospital I'll be having the surgery Monday. MONDAY! That alone makes me want to go with the Little Hospital, which is no good reason I know. Little Hospital will be on the 7th. (Clearly I've decided to stop being vague about dates).
Anyway....the main thing I wanted to blog about was the third doctor we saw. She was very nice, competent, and from a completely different hospital then we've been to for all this cancer stuff. As I previously blogged about I wanted to look one more time at conserving some of my breast. I needed to be sure that mastectomy (regardless of where the incision gets placed!) is the best option.
It is. I'm finally convinced now. This woman was very knowledgable and since she knew we were not choosing her as a surgeon it was as if she had nothing to gain or lose by being clear, direct, and informative without trying to convince us to do what she wanted. I felt a keen trust in what she told me and she pointed out some pathology issues from my biopsy that no one else explained to me.
Mastectomy is, I believe, 99.9% the right choice for me. That's about as sure as I'll ever be.
Of course now I'd like to be sure of the how, the who, the when and the where...