…to save at least some of my breast. Well, sort of.
Yeah, I know, you were thinking I was all done with that. Not so much, apparently. See, here’s the thing…according to everything I’ve read there are a lot of false positives on MRIs. Yet that’s what we’re basing the final scale tip towards having a mastectomy on. It is possible that the suspicious lesions are nothing to be suspicious about at all and I just have my three original tumors. It’s possible they are all cancer, too. But I don’t like that question mark hanging over my head.
So I’m seeing the doctor one more time to discuss doing a core needle biopsy on these lesions. If they are cancerous and located far away from my other tumors then clearly I’ve made the right decision and that’s all there is to it. But if they are benign, or even if they are malignant but are close to the original three…then there’s some further discussion.
I’m not hopeful so much as determined to rid myself of as much ambiguity as possible. I might end up right back where I am, mastectomy bound. That’s fine…well, okay, not fine exactly but you know what I mean. No harm, no foul. I will be going under the knife in a couple weeks knowing there was nothing else I could do, or as close to that as is reasonably achievable. That would be a better feeling than what I have now.
Of course it’s also possible my case will never be as black & white as I’d like. I may always be left with a shade of gray and have to make my peace with it. If so I’ll learn to accept that and move on. But if I don’t have to, or if I could be a little more certain in any way, then I need to pursue it. Information is power, both in decision-making and reaching acceptance.
So, maybe don’t wish me luck; just wish me clarity…either way that would be the best possible outcome.