I found a lump in my breast a week ago, then two more the next day.
Today I had a mammogram and ultrasound. This picture of me was taken before I left. I had DH take it because I believed I would be told that the lumps were some sort of plugged milk duct (am still nursing my 2yo) or perhaps a cyst. They are neither. This picture was taken before I knew that. Before I was told that I would need a biopsy and surgery -- the lumps are large enough that they must be removed, regardless of what the needle biopsy says, and further biopsied once they are.
I know that this could very well turn out to be nothing. I'm hopeful that will be the case. I'm visualizing coming back here in a few weeks and saying, wow, that felt like a close one, but yay it was only...
But I'm also thinking of all the possibilities for the worst -- who wouldn't? I have young children. My baby, he's two but he's still my baby, is still nursing, still..my children need their mom to be healthy and around for years and years to come. I know that I sound dramatic. I know what I would say to someone who was going thru this. I would tell them that these things turn out to be nothing more often than people realize. I also know sometimes they don't. In 2007 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's been doing well, but it's been, well, you know.
I'm sorry to be so morose. I am feeling very morose. Maybe I shouldn't post this but I'm going to. I don't know when or how I will be posting here -- I do promise to check in and keep everyone updated. And I've written a whooooole bunch of poems so I'll have some stuff for the other blogs no doubt. Kinda wish I didn't. Writer's block doesn't sound so bad to me now.